Archives for category: Sightings

The Santaland Diaries Last year, my family and I saw The Santaland Diaries (@PCS), which had to be one of the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

Side note: Now, I know people use this expression quite freely and, thus, it has lost some of its meaning over time. Believe me when I tell you, this is one of the funniest things I have seen in my 24 years of existence.

So, on the eve of Christmas Eve, I leave you with this excerpt from Crumpet the Elf:

Twenty-two thousand people came to see Santa today, and not all of them are well-behaved.

Today, I witnessed fist fights and vomiting and magnificent tantrums. The back hallway was jammed with people. There was a line for Santa and a line for the women’s bathroom, and one woman, after asking me a thousand questions already asked, which is the line for the women’s bathroom? And I shouted that I thought it was the line with all the women in it. And she said, I’m going to have you fired. I had two people say that to me today, I’m going to have you fired. Go ahead, be my guest.

I’m wearing a green velvet costume. It doesn’t get any worse than this. Who do these people think they are? I’m going to have you fired, and I want to lean over, and say I’m going to have you killed.

Merry Christmas.

I spent the weekend exploring, what I like to call, the Wild West of Eastern Oregon with @amber_mckenna. Stationed in Pendleton for the duration of her Snowden internship, Amber invited me to a little thing called the Farm City Pro Rodeo. Actually it wasn’t little, it was quite large complete with an accompanying fair.

We trolled the fair grounds on Saturday and immediately I was overcome with the urge to buy a funnel cake. As I kept an eye out for a vendor of my favorite fried concoction, I couldn’t help but notice the ridiculous amount of other fried things. Besides the regular funnelcakes, twinkies and elephant ears, there were fried cinnamon rolls, pizza and coke! I was not brave enough to hazard a taste but Amber had tried the coke earlier in the week and did not speak highly of it.

After wondering around for a bit, we found ourselves in the middle of pig auction. Now this is definitely something I can say I had never seen before, nor want to. The smell alone was enough to send me running, but my piqued interest kept me seated. It seemed absurd that these pigs were being sold for over $300, but then again, considering how much we paid for our labradoodle who will not provide us with bacon for a year, maybe it wasn’t that crazy.

We ate dinner at a delicious Mexican restaurant and then headed over to the stadium to grab seats for the main event. The entire stadium was filled with cowboy hats, boots, denim and beer.

The first event was the bareback riding, which to me seemed unnecessarily and extremely painful. Yet all the cowboys walked it off and found their way back to the gates on their own after being thrown off.

The crowd favorite was definitely the bull riding. As the crowd chanted and clapped at the announcement of the event, you could feel the heightened anticipation.

Once we saw the first cowboy ride out of the gates and hit the ground, we understood why it was so revered. This first rider didn’t move for about five minutes while the medics tended to him.

Amber and I look fondly at the memories of this weekend and our first rodeo (minus the rodeo clown). But it wasn’t all fun and games, some lessons were learned.

1. Don’t drink too much (bathroom line > beer line)
2. Matching corsets and jeans are perfectly acceptable for friends to wear.
3. Oversized crosses on necklaces and hats are super trendy (especially when accessorized with turquoise).
4. Late night funnel cake + coors lite = bad dreams
5. Always leave a 50 ft. radius between you and any animal barn.

For those of you who don’t know me well, I am addicted to trashy reality TV. It’s my ultimate weakness and Project Runway is one of my less shameful favorites (along with, cringe, Rock of Love and American Idol). I’ve watched all the seasons and absolutely love it. So imagine my complete and utter shock when I’m just going about my business at work, Eugene Swim and Tennis Club, and in walks one of the contestants from the original season, Austin Scarlett! Apparently he is the grandson of one Buzz Summers, a tennis pro at ESTC, and was in town for Buzz and Joyce’s 50th anniversary. They were making the rounds in Eugene and stopped at the club. Pretty much the best day at work EVER. Shook hands and conversed. Love it.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.